Wednesday, November 9, 2011

7 billion and Counting

Last Halloween we found the world's population had finally hit 7 billion people. This week, we found out Michelle Duggar is pregnant yet again. This makes #20. No, I'm not providing links to articles about it this time, it disgusts me.

Now, allow me to venture on for a little bit. See, over on the forums, a thread about this got started up and people are ranting. One user, Rime, even pointed out this little sarcastic quote:

This will be a sad testament to "GOD IS THE ULTIMATE OPENER AND CLOSER OF THE WOMB!"
Now, according to all the research I didn't do, their last brat had to be delivered premature because her god fearing mother came down with a case of pre-eclampsia. What exactly is pre-eclampsia? It's basically where your body freaks the fuck out and says "Get this brat out of me or I'm killing fucking all of us!" Yes, this is one of the dangerous medical complications and also the most common. So, to Rime, I had to pop off with a reply:

Except, from what I understand, God has tried to close that fucking portal to the Realm of the Eldritch Creatures more than once now but it's our fucking human science that's keeping that Cave of the Dark Side open and pumping out the squealing spawn of the Black Horseman of the Apocalypse.

Fucking Duggars are hypocrites. If they actually believed what they preached, that dumbass woman would have told the doctors after the first complication: "Your having to give me surgery to keep me fertile and/or from dying is a sign that God wants me to stop pumping out more oxygen wasting crap factories. Tie my tubes."

Okay, I confess, I've done a little more research since then, but the basic gist stands. Now, I want to take it a little farther. Remember a while back I had some fun with math? Let's do this again because this is a wonderful argument in favor of limiting the number of children a family can have.

We'll look at the extreme example and ask: "What would happen if every one of these brats had 20 kids and kept that tradition going?" Let's keep it a short example and just say five generations. This is also an amazing example of what happens when you keep doubling numbers.

20 kids have 20 kids and they go on to have 20 kids on down the line to generation five. Want to know how many Duggars that'll make?

3,200,000. Yes. 3 million 200 thousand Duggars running around in 5 generations. Let's tack on two more generations. Ya know, for shits and giggles.

After 7 generations (lucky number, huh?) we'll have 1,280,000,000 Duggars running around.

1 BILLION 280 MILLION people from 1 fucking family. And we're already bumping up on the edge of the limits to the planet's resources.

Congratulations you selfish hypocrites. You can't survive without the charity of your church and the fame from your TV show; you've robbed your children of their childhoods because they're too busy raising the last crotch spawn you've shot across the room (and I have no illusions that by now it's less "giving birth" and more "baby's first slip-n-slide") and now you're contributing and promoting an ideal that will fuck up the planet very quickly all because you read in a book that you should "be fruitful and multiply" that was penned in a time when people were told to have 20 kids because 18 of them would die before they could walk and you're doing this because "God will decide."

You know what that passage would look like if it was written today?

"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Closeth thou fucking legs, and let the earth have a medamned breather, and remember you won't get another if you fuck this one up:"

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